Wednesday, 27 October 2010

The One Where I Try To Scream, But Whimper

I remember seeing the Total Film review for Alien Resurrection in 1997.

It was pretty scathing.

There was, however, an underwater sequence.

And I remember being wildly excited about that.

Of course, this was pre-AvP days. Back in the days where I was too naive (read stupid), to even question Aliens swimming under water.

Now? Well, the Blu Ray saga draws to a close after watching five films. (I watched both versions of Alien 3). I'm a little sad. Maybe a little relieved. It's a post tweetathon sort of feeling.

Glad I've done it. A feeling of accomplishment. But glad it's over.

I watched the Alien series on DVD a few years back. But I watched it in the wrong order. It was a theory I had heard from people that doing so meant you got to see the films in ascending quality.

The Blu is sharp. The film is relatively young, so I guess you would expect that.

But something hit me... The credits are like watching Fire Fly or something Some cheap sci-fi, made for TV.

The other three have iconic, gripping title cards. Here? White on black. And worse than that - white on black, over images. It's beyond cheap. It certainly didn't get us off to a great start.

Then I shuddered at the thought of them cloning Ripley. It. Just. Seems. Wrong.

They could have at least had the title cards rolling over Fury 161, as a scientist takes swabs of her DNA in the furnace or something. Because with out it, the film just doesn't seem like canon. It feels like a tag on.

Which I suppose it is.

Then something happens. You see the Alien they have cut from Ripleys belly (an early sign of the gore to come). The Alien is a Queen. And she is going to breed. And kick ass.

So I just decided to switch off, and try and enjoy it.

Michael Wincott turns up with his bad ass voice. A group of annoying sub-marine types join him. You guess which one is going to die first. It's Horror101.

Truth is, a below par Alien film, is still far more interesting than most other films.

Especially in HD. With great sound, and visuals.

That underwater sequence is ludicrous, in hindsight. Of course Aliens can't swim. They're frickin Aliens! But god damn, it. It's a great sequence, with awesome music.

It's just a shame that around all of that is mutant clones (What is this? Freaking House Of Wax??).

And don't get me started on the New Breed. I have never, NEVER been so angry in my life. I almost turned and walked out of the cinema.

Excuse my French, Jean-Pierre, but what the fuck were you thinking?

It makes the Pred Alien look like something Gieger created. Pathetic. And it unravels the whole film.

The Alien series are synonymous with iconic endings. And we get this? WTF. It's horrible.

Thankfully, the (non) Directors Cut puts in an ending that salvages things a bit. Surely someone can pick up the reigns?  Knowing Hollywood, it's only a matter of time.

God, I hope they let Ridley Scott loose on the new ones - preferably after cleaning up the script a bit. (SEX SLAVES???) They've stalled apparently. I can't say I'm surprised. (SEX SLAVES???). But I'm not sure a prequel is the way to go. Carry on from here. On Earth. It's the only way to be sure.

I don't think Jim Cameron has much on... why not let him have a play...?

Anyone that has jumped in to this one, scroll the Blog, or click the images on the right. I've watched 12 odd hours of this! (Jesus. I need to get a life.)

Next weeks vote, Live from Sunday, will be to choose your favourite Alien movie - so pop back then. (And before. Obviously.)

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