Sunday 4 July 2010

"I'm Going To Fight For You, Until Your Heart Stops Beating"

The One Where I Don't Apologise For Liking Twilight

Everyone knows the real story of the weekend, and it wasn't Twilight breaking records... it was THIS!



Bring. It. On.

So... Twilight. 2/10 reviews. Worse film ever. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.




Look, its really simple. My fave piece of the week, is always this one. In it, they argue it's bad people aren't critical enough on the arts. I get that. I agree with that. But sometimes, all you want to do is switch off, and watch a film.

I actually thought New Moon was OK... 

I liked the fact that  a lot of people were disappointed by the film. It was a backlash, of sorts. I could feel the pain of the Twi-Hards. I remember Phantom Menace, and Matrix Revolutions...

With this one, the 2/10 smacks of sheer arrogance. I mean... 2/10?? That is ridiculous. 

It actually annoys me, that a film critic could be so cock sure. What are they comparing it too? The Shining, for it's use of lighting? Aliens, for the action scenes? There Will Be Blood, for the powerhouse acting? Behave. This is a film where you switch off, and watch. Nothing more. Compare it to the other Twilight's out of ten. Is it still 2/10?


The bits I liked were little things. Agreeing to a pact, the werewolves and vampires do a night watch on Bella's house. Two vampires finish there shift. How do they know? Two were wolves appear, from the bushes. No words. Just an understanding. That's a cool idea - and effects wise, very well done.

Werewolves versus Vampires? Yeah. Not as much as I would have liked, but... heads get punched off. I had to applaud David Slade for getting as close to 30 days Of Night as he could with a 12A certificate.

Of course, when there's biting, there's no blood. All of that is a little tame. I wish they had had the guts to boost the violence just a tad.

The love story side is bearable, but morally? It's screwed. JMcG and I kept getting digs in the chest for shouting, "SHE IS SUCH A COCK TEASE!" But... she is.



The acting is pretty dull. Very, very reminiscent of the second Star Wars trilogy. Not in the poor line delivery, that was pretty good, but in the attitude. It's almost like they all know they are global phenomenons, so... why bother? Well, bother because Hayden Christensen could have been a legend. Where is he now? Shame too. Shattered Glass shows he is a gifted Actor. Remember Me proves that with R-Patz, and Adventure land with whatshername.

I'm not going to convince anyone to go see this. If you hate, you hate it. But ask yourself... are you maybe being a bit... snobbish? Turning your nose up. What's that you're hiding? A VHS copy of Dirty Dancing? Or Karate Kid? Or Back To The Future III?

Hardly master crafting, so far as films go. 

But switch your brain off? They're classics.

$68.5M in ONE DAY? And it's not in 3-d? Saviour of a shit summer, I'd say.


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